No, I Have No Thought of Time
by Alithea
Summary: Shoujoai Content. What things has Destiny hidden from view? What loves wait patiently to be discovered? Rei and Setsuna are about to find out.


**Title: No, I Have No Thought of Time  
****Rating: PG-13  
****Sailor Moon does not belong to me just borrowing  
****Author's: Note: In keeping with this site's guidelines I have removed the song lyrics that previously broke up the scenes of this story. If you would like to read thisstory with the song lyrics in it you may do so at media miner dot org . Thank you!  
****Shoujo-ai Content  
**  
It was a color parade as the sun set into orange-red, violet-blue hues. Flocks of birds scattered amongst the clouds fleeing for warmer climates. There was the slightest of chills in the air as she stood on the hill over looking the city. Long evergreen locks of hair caught in a dance with the wind, lost in the soft pull of the growing darkness. Maroon eyes wandered across the play of slowly emerging stars. She looked to the sliver of the moon that smiled casually at the disappearing sun. And in that moment she tried to find peace. There was nothing though, nothing but the beauty of the approaching evening and the lonely tick of Time in her heart. Stoic as she was she could no longer fight the pull she felt growing within. A pull that was leading her to a lover she had not let herself remember, a lover that she had shielded the Gates of Time from revealing to her, because there were some things she knew she did not need to know, at least, not right away. She was growing impatient for the result though.

Visions of what was to come would float to the surface gracing her with scenes that where perfect and serene. Just as she was to glance at the person who was to make her lonely heart complete her future or past self would step in the way, slight smile on their knowing faces. They would gently remind, "You are the one who set the limits in the first place, Setsuna. You are the one who didn't want to know, didn't want to remember and, so, you must wait."

She sighed, sadly amused at the strangeness of her powers. At her ability to be in so many places at once. If she concentrated hard enough she could see all the places where her present moment intersected with the past and future. How she was guarding the Gates of Time, a sea of emptiness spreading before her. How she was riding to school on a crowded bus worried about being late, the happiness on her face as she was celebrating something that looked like a wedding although she could not see who the couple was, the shock of meeting her self and receiving the Garnet Orb, learning that she was going die, and yet, strangely…oddly… how she never really died at all.

The sky was lost in the dark blue, purple-black of the night as she was pulled from her wanderings. From the hill she could clearly see almost every planet in the sky, some more faint than others. She brushed back her hair, took a deep breath and proceeded to walk home. Her pace was mildly slow but she was in no real hurry since Haruka and Michiru had taken Hotaru and Small Lady on an impromptu camping trip. The house would be empty when she reached it, dark and lifeless.

"Like Time," she whispered. "Like me."

Passing along the streets Setsuna soon found herself in familiar territory. The lengthy steps up to the Shinto shrine presented themselves in the most unobtrusive manner the Guardian of Time had ever seen. As she looked up she saw the flicker of the eternal flame creating elegant shadows among the surrounding trees. She questioned her motives at first as she began the long trek up the steps, wondering if perhaps she was just giving in to the empty spaces around her heart and the teasing visions that had been haunting her. The guardian convinced her self that she was merely curious as to what, if anything; the sacred flame could show her.

She was not above seeking help in clarifying her visions. In the past, oh so long ago on the Moon Kingdom, she recalled seeking advise from the various Senshi for whatever she needed. Of course every time she did seek guidance the others looked at her with shock and disbelief. It did not matter that she could control Time; she had to remind them often. Nothing was ever certain and Time was less stable and stolid than people liked to think. Time was more a liquid thing, bubbling with possibilities, a puzzle waiting to be solved. Yet, once that puzzle was complete, Setsuna knew, Time would stand still and that would be the end of everything… Until perhaps someone came along and tore the puzzle apart and waited for something new to form together out of the broken pieces.

Maroon eyes shut in a briefly amused moment. It was hard for her not to wander over the possibilities of Time. Not work her mind around all the scientific wonder of it all.

Reaching the top of the shrine she wandered over to the flame. Getting closer she noted that she was not alone. Inside the small covering where the flame sparked a beautiful priestess sat lost in deep concentration, violet eyes fixed on the dance of the fire. Carefully Setsuna stepped over to the focused young woman, and placed a graceful hand on her shoulder.

"Come back from where ever you are Rei," Setsuna said softly, her tone deep and mysterious.

The young woman's amethyst eyes shut for a minute or two, before she slowly tilted her head to glance at the intruder. She smiled a little when she saw Setsuna standing over her. And then confused by the Senshi of Time's presence became notably worried.

"Nothing is wrong," the older woman comforted. "I was just passing by. You looked lost in there."

"I was," Rei replied. "I was looking for an answer. I got one but it was…Well it was muddled in imagery."

"So the sacred fire is not handing out answers today then," the mysterious woman asked almost playfully. "Pity… I needed an answer to something as well."

The fire priestess rose to her feet, brushing back her long dark hair. Still confused by Setsuna's presence, and still a little lost in the non-answer the fire had provided her with.

"Just because the fire was not totally open with me does not mean it will not grant you an answer."

The taller woman smiled broadly, something that was usually an unsettling sight for those who did not know her well.

"No, I am quite sure if the fire will not heed you today… it will grant me nothing I need." The older woman shook her head in slight disappointment then and sighed.

"That does not seem like you," Rei stated curiously, her eyes suddenly wide as she realized she may have offended.

Setsuna smiled briefly again, a kind of expression that Rei recognized as sadness. She watched as it quickly disappeared under the distant and sometimes icy expression that she knew the Senshi of Time for. It was odd seeing a different side to someone so seemingly well defined.

"I suppose it does not," Time's guardian replied after stint of well-placed silence. "It is just, I have been frustrated lately."

"Oh?" She wasn't sure how to react to the trust the older woman was placing in her.

The taller woman shook her head slightly and then stated, "Time is keeping something from me."

"I didn't-"

"Oh, it's nothing to worry over. Just… many, many," Setsuna paused trying to consider how many "manys" she should place in the sentence. The thought made her smirk. "Many years ago I put a limitation on my power… so not to see all the things that would affect my life. So I would have surprises to look forward to."

The Fire Senshi nodded. It seemed an appropriate thing to do. Otherwise what was to keep Time's Guardian from working her life as she saw fit. Briefly Rei wondered if she had ever made such a pact, perhaps in her past life… so that the fire would show her only what was necessary.

"I can see why you would do that," Rei said softly. "Would you like to at least try for tonight," she motioned to the sacred fire. "You never know until you try."

The flicker of light from the fire danced in her maroon eyes. There was something terribly beautiful about them sometimes. Something dangerously erotic, and combined with Setsuna's light mocha skin and tall graceful form it was all the more intoxicating. Rei shook herself from the thought, and remained very interested in the feeling it left her with. The Senshi of Time stepped in closer to the priestess, laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and smiled again. That same sad, nearly lost smile she had seen briefly before. And Rei wondered why that smile made her heart ache.

"I should be getting home," Setsuna mentioned. "It is late and I should attempt sleep. Thank you for your council Rei."

"Oh, no problem," she replied with a slight giggle. "Come back sometime if you're still having trouble."

"I shall consider it."

And Setsuna stepped into the darkness of the night, down the many steps of the shrine. Reaching the bottom she placed a hand over her heart and shut her eyes tightly.

"Why is it," she asked her self, fighting uncontrolled tears, "why is it I can not lie to her?"

It was a disconcerting experience for her. Normally, her outer demeanor was in check. Normally, she would not have said so much. Normally, she would have refrained from showing those sad little smiles and while the cause was becoming evident she still questioned it.

"But Reeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiii," Usagi whined and pleaded all at once, "you have to come with us. It's not the same if you aren't there to pick on me."

The blonde was practically on her knees. The Fire Senshi shook her head and looked to the others in the group for help.

"Please get off the floor Usagi," Rei stated with slight irritation. "I have things to do right now. Chores to complete and I have a consultation today too. I can't just run off to the arcade whenever."

Usagi hauled herself off the floor and perked an eyebrow. "You have a consultation? With whom may I ask?"

"For the love of the gods," Minako suddenly cut in, "Usagi leave her be. You know she's been busy lately with the temple and you know she told us to give her advanced warning so she could clear some time on her calendar."

"Yeah, but still," Usagi huffed. The blonde suddenly looked around, "Hey where are Ami and Makoto?"

Minako rolled her eyes and replied, "Well while you where busy making a fool of yourself groveling on the ground they decided to go on ahead." The Senshi of Love considered what she had just said and a wicked little grin formed on her face. "Or they ran off into the trees to have a little 'private time'."

The priestess shook her head, "Speaking of private time… Maybe you two could use this opportune moment to go to the arcade and drool over who ever the cute boy of the day happens to be."

She gave an impish little wink in Minako's direction, which made the love goddess blush a delicate shade of pink.

Minako took hold of Usagi's hand, "Come on time's a wasting."

"But-," Usagi began. She was silenced as she was swiftly dragged off down the street.

The raven-haired beauty chuckled as she watched the two blondes scamper off together.

"Poor Mina," Rei whispered. "I hope she gets what she wants one of these lifetimes."

As a priestess Rei Hino was often privy to very sensitive information. It was part of her work though, to act as a spiritual guide for those in need. And at the moment there was one bit of information she was very clear on. Minako was in love with the future queen of the world. And aside from that little interesting tidbit it was becoming clear now that as the girls were getting older their powers were growing. Rei's intuition, the fire of her heart sent out a very clear message to her: This was the year, the season she was destined to meet the other half of her soul.

****

The heat of fire was causing tiny beads of sweat to run down her face. She did not heed them though. Violet eyes focused on the images that were forming through the light smoke. Soon she was where she wanted to be, lost in the red and black shadows of a vision. The fire crackled and the vision gained motion and momentum. A red string was tied to her wrist. She knew the meaning, grew up on the story of it. Her focused mind wandered briefly trying to guess if she had grown up in any other part of the world what the red string would be replaced by. The vision took her over again. The red string leading the way to her soul mate, her love…But it suddenly faded before she could follow it to the end. Instead there was nothing but an empty path before her. It trailed into a dense forest, a lifeless place, dark with foreboding. And a voice she had heard before called from the trees, "Go back. There is nothing for you here."

Her eyes opened with a start. She felt a cool hand on her shoulder. Glancing up she was met with lonely maroon eyes.

"You were lost again," Setsuna whispered.

The fire senshi smiled, light flush covering her checks. "It was a little intense. I suppose I should stop chasing after the answer."

The older woman smiled softly which caused a tiny flutter in Rei's stomach. She had known that feeling before. Felt it deep in her heart. And she would not tell herself to stop feeling it, or try and make it stop, because for Rei telling herself not to fall in love was like telling herself not to breathe. It was an impossible thing to do. Violet eyes shut briefly, a silent prayer offered up to whatever gods would listen. Simple and brief she wished that whatever it was, a simple crush or true love, she would not be too badly hurt should things not turn in her favor.

A light hand was resting on the priestess' shoulder. She opened her eyes and looked over at the Guardian of Time, took in the older woman's expression of slight worry and concern, looked deep into those maroon eyes that seemed to hold something at bay, perhaps something dark, perhaps something deep.

"I lost you again," Setsuna said softly. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine. I…," she paused taken back by the older woman's lingering hand, still resting with the greatest of care on her shoulder. "I think maybe we should reschedule for another time."

The mysterious and elegant woman nodded. Pulled her hand away slowly, smiled a moment, and walked away.

With great care she set out the tea service, placing two delicate cups on their saucers, positioning the napkins just so and then pouring out the tea taking in the scent that seeped through the steam. Dark and slender hands set out a tiny plate of cucumber sandwiches, with the crusts cut off. And then she sat patiently in her spot, letting her maroon eyes drift out into the garden. Hotaru was playing on her swings, bundled almost too tightly in a thick sweater. Her little girl…their little girl…such a tightly knit family, (Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru) Setsuna wondered if there was anything she wouldn't do to see the people in her life safe and happy. She shook her head slightly.

The kitchen door swung open softly and without shifting her gaze Setsuna said, "Have a seat Haruka."

The intruding blonde rolled her eyes and sat down, looked over the spread but before she could say a word Setsuna spoke again.

"I already put sugar in your tea. Have a sandwich I am sure you're starved after chasing Hotaru around the yard all day." Maroon eyes shut as she heard the small clink of porcelain, and the light sound of a sandwich being devoured. Again before the blonde could speak the Guardian of Time asked, "Why are you worried about me?"

She shifted in her seat to gaze into Haruka's deep blue eyes. The tall blonde shook her head and then sighed.

"What, I can't worry," Haruka's husky voice breezed.

"Why are you so concerned with how I have been spending my free time," was the soft and stoic reply. The Senshi of Time took a sip of her tea.

"Setsuna," the young woman's tone slipped into commanding and then softened with a sigh. "It's just you've looked a little…well… You get lost sometimes. In thought or time, but whatever… Care to clue me in on what's going on?"

A dark hand brushed through evergreen locks, sad little smile forming thinly on plush lips. "It is a matter I must attend to on my own Haruka. Feelings I need to direct... carefully."

Haruka smirked and then chuckled a bit, "You're in love aren't you?"

"Yes."

A cold reply but the blonde waved it off. "Anyone we know?"

"Yes," Setsuna shut her eyes trying to focus her emotions. Trying to keep her demeanor untarnished, untouched. "Do not pry any further than that," she stated.

"You aren't trying to fight it are you?"

"No. I am not… I just have to be careful with it," she paused and then unleashed the truth, "because I have neither memory of it, nor a vision of it in the future. I am flying blind Haruka, and it is not something I am accustomed to."

The blonde laughed then, shook her head and smiled devilishly, "Welcome to the ways of the mortal world Setsuna."

In the pit of her stomach she could barely control the unease she was feeling. Every time she saw the young woman, every time she heard the girl's name, caught the whispered glimpse of her shadow Setsuna felt her steady vainer of quiet mystery breaking. Felt tiny cracks in her well-plated armor. The empty spaces around her heart begged to be filled. She was so used to being alone. Used to the empty that was usually only momentarily filled as she played with Hotaru or taught the child a lesson. But it was growing now; all ache and pull in one direction.

She had been visiting Rei for about a month. Stopping by the temple to see how the priestess was getting along. The visits constantly became lengthier and the subject matter often veered from visions to less important things, like fashion, or music. Once Setsuna even managed a genuine laugh, a truly happy smile and once that happened there was no way the Senshi of Time could deny it any longer. There was nothing left for her to do but fall and perhaps confess.

As always the raven-haired beauty was before the fire, intense glare shooting through it. And as was becoming customary Setsuna placed a light hand on the girl's shoulder, calling her out of the trance, away from the vision.

"Come back Rei," she whispered. "There is nothing there."

She watched as violet eyes shut and then opened, lovely smile spreading over the fire goddess' face.

"I wasn't lost," Rei defended as she stood up. "I was just wandering today. Meditation helps ease the soul you know?"

"I know," was the cool reply. "Rei?"

"Yes." She stretched as she stepped out of the room, and then sat on the little porch happy when Setsuna joined her.

The keeper of the Gates of Time sighed as she looked into the Fire Senshi's eyes. Maroon pools awash in emotion, sparking in the dim light.

"Did you ever find the answer you were looking for when I originally approached you?"

A shy grin tugged at the girl's lips, light blush on her cheeks. The expression was answer enough but Rei confirmed, "Yeah, I think I did."

"Do you mind if I ask what the question was?"

"Not at all," the priestess replied softly. "It was a question about soul mates. The rest of the girls seem to be finding the match to their souls lately and I asked the fire about mine."

Setsuna smirked. "Interesting… So you know whom the person is that will make you feel complete?"

"Yes."

"Have you told them?"

"No."

The stoic senshi perked an eyebrow, "Why not?"

Rei sighed and then stared deep into the older woman's eyes. Point blank she stated, "She's so hard to read I'm not sure she feels the same way. Mysterious and stoic all around it's hard to tell what she's thinking sometimes."

"Rei I-"

The priestess rolled her eyes, shook her head and inched a little closer. "Just shut up and kiss me already will ya… Miss Stoic and Mysterious."

She was caught off guard by the bold statement, smiled broadly, little chuckles escaping her lips as she leaned in to take the fire senshi's hot lips.

Lips touched. Brushed softly against each other and in the breathless pull of the moment there was nothing on the planet that could separate them. But the brief union was short lived, torn apart by the threatening memories of the past. And the past hit the Guardian of Time like a typhoon.

_Dark._

She heard the cries from the battlefield but she could not leave her post.

_It's dark._

She felt the Senshi slip away one by one into Death's waiting arms.

_Darkness echoes pain._

Her heart wrenched. Twisted and broke in two as she was certain. Mars was gone.

_Pain touches softness and light. Bringing forth tears…bringing forth darkness and…_

Setsuna listened as her queen informed her that the Senshi were not lost forever. They would be reborn on the Earth. She would see her love again.

_Pain. Deep and cutting…edging in like a knife. Tiny little black deaths…taking the time… piercing the soul…making it cry out._

Her maroon eyes were dark. She was torn between duty and her heart. And her heart was breaking because she did not die. She could not die. She was the Guardian of Time and she would remain until the world came crashing to an end.

_Darkness. Slick and black, wet like the rain. Over the body. Over the mind. Into the heart, creating a hole. Making a spot that needs to be filled. Begs… pleads…cries._

Broken by her memories Setsuna, the Guardian of Time, Senshi of Time, Keeper of the Gates, Sailor Pluto… stone in her heart asked but one thing of her queen. One gift for the job she had done.

"Let me forget," Pluto pleaded. "Let my memory be cleared of her."

Serenity looked suddenly grave, "But you two were meant to be together. It is certain you will find each other again…love again."

"Make me forget Serenity. Rip her from my heart so I can go on. I know you can this thing for me."

"But Setsuna?"

"If we are destined we are destined, Serenity. Let it be that I can not know. I can not see the one I was meant for… wash the memory of her love from my heart. I can not bear to live so long with out her near, to wait forever in hopes of someday... Not after the way she and I parted. Not after that...I… I can not be the soldier you need me to be if I remember her. I'll be too tempted Serenity… too tempted."

_Cries in the darkness. Begging for release and an end to pain. An end to slick, black, wet little deaths that eat away the heart. Wash it away in one easy motion. Let me forget…let me forget…the dark._

"Have your wish then Setsuna," the queen said softly. "You will forget, but when the time is right you will have to remember. And as you well know…remembering will not be easy...For either of you."

The scene faded into darkness, quickly replaced by crueler things. Cold words spoken in fear, things that were not meant ans spoken to push love away. To help protect her heart, but those things…soft and chilled only hurt her. And while the other moments, happier times that were all light and love rushed through her. It was the very end, the hurt she felt the most. The things she did were not fitting someone of her post. It was not right.

"No," Setsuna gasped as the wave of memory broke, completing their task.

She looked over and saw that slight fear, but still deep love in Rei's eyes. Saw it and sprang to her feet, backed away slowly. The beautiful Senshi of Fire tried to follow her.

"No, Rei," a lonely voice begged. "No, do not follow me. Don't love me. Not after all I did. I refuse to hurt you like that again."

And with that she ran off, a coward's way out perhaps but she couldn't… Couldn't face the girl, not after all she had seen.

There was nothing in the sky, just endless velvety black, touched here and there by deep purples, and some blues, the night of a new moon, cold and dark. She did not harbor hope of glimpsing anything to take her away from what just happened. Her overly emotional reaction was evidence enough that she was not meant to have a lover. It was far too dangerous a thing. She sniffed and sat on the slightly damp grass, hugging the darkness to herself for comfort.

"Do you not think you are over reacting," a familiar voice from the shadows asked softly.

Setsuna closed her eyes and replied coldly, "_You_ are breaking the rules."

"Ah, but you break the rules all time," the voice replied, getting noticeably closer. "Even without her near, you still broke the rules for those you cared for. You stopped Time to save Neptune and Uranus."

"And I paid the price for it. I died."

There was a chuckle, "And yet here you are."

"Serenity bent the rules for me."

"There you go. Rules can be bent and broken if need be."

Setsuna turned to face the advancing intruder and stood.

"Go back and leave me be," she lightly commanded.

"No." The shadowy intruder replied. "It is not your fault, you know."

"How can you say that? The minute I felt her die I went insane. Screamed my infamous attack and earned a slew of interesting nicknames because of it."

"You really care about names given to you by the enemy?" The mysterious figure was easier to see now, long hair caught in the wind that was a slight reflection of how Setsuna's looked. "What do you fear most right now, Setsuna?"

"Hurting her."

"Then why run, do you not think that will hurt her?"

"Hurting her the way I did on the moon", Setsuna corrected.

"I see," there was a hint of sadness in the intruder's voice. "You cheated on her to make her leave you."

"Because I saw the end coming, saw the battle and I…"

"You knew what it would do to you, funny how you only made it worse."

Setsuna chuckled sadly, "And then she dates him in this life."

"Cosmic karma? Unwitting revenge? Poor Endymion," the intruder whispered softly.

"Poor Mamoru," Setsuna echoed.

"Does he still love his princess?"

"Yes, but as you know-"

"She loves someone else. But we've gotten off topic."

The guardian of time nodded sadly. "I love her", she whispered.

"I know you do, so stop being foolish and go back to her," the intruder informed. "Wash away the past, make things bright. You have rules in place remember…So not to know everything all at once. I will make sure you do not break them."

The intruder turned slowly, retreating into the darkness, the deeper shadows from where she had entered. Setsuna watched her go and shook her head, a little concern taking her heart as she called out.

"Pluto!"

A slightly aged Sailor Pluto stopped in her tracks, the smirk on her face hidden by the night. "Yes?"

"Are you happy," Setsuna asked.

Pluto looked over her shoulder, "What do you think?"

And she was gone.

She kept herself from crying, refused to shed a tear, because she was angry. How dare Setsuna run away again? How dare she think that would make things better?

Rei huffed and threw another log on the fire. It sparked and there was a knock on the door. The Fire Senshi moved from her spot by the fireplace, and stomped over to the door. She had to fight not to slam it shut again once she saw who was standing outside. With a frown she let the tall woman in, and led her over to the living room where the fire was. It had been a cold night and since Rei was not ready to retreat into slumber, she decided to stay up and brood a little, seethe in her anger. Before Setsuna could muster an apology Rei spoke.

"I am so mad at you," she said trying not to shout. "So if you're going to try and make things better with a lame apology you can just forget it." She folded her arms across her chest.

"Fine, but you should know," Setsuna whispered sadly, "I was wrong, and acted immaturely to say the least. I did not want to hurt you, Rei. I lose all sense when you are hurt, and... it frightens me." She paused but after receiving no response she sighed and stood up.

"Sit down," Rei commanded. It was impossible for her to keep her anger. It had begun to slip away the minute the older woman stepped into the house.

The Guardian of Time did as she was told.

"I must confess," the priestess began. "The intensity with which you love scared me a little too. But don't you know I'm the same way? I get overly passionate, lose my temper, love too deeply, and when I get hurt… well you know the drill."

"Yeah…I guess I do." Maroon eyes looked to the floor. "How do we make this work?"

"Well…I guess we go slowly," Rei replied. She moved from her spot and stepped over to where her love sat, stretched out a pale hand a guided Setsuna's glance upward. Urged the older woman to stand and as she did, Rei took Setsuna's lips, pulled her close for ages, breaking the kiss to whisper briefly, "See… slowly."

Setsuna perked an eyebrow and grinned. "If that is slow I never want to know what fast is."

The fire goddess chuckled, "Neither do I."

The two met again for another kiss long and lasting. The heat of the room growing as the fire slowly died.

End…


End file.
